A diary: the single mum on Mother’s Day


05:30 – thanks to daylight savings, the time has magically changed to 06:30! Not that I have had the inclination to change any of my clocks of course. Although I’m as tired as ever, I consider this a success as technically I’ve had a lie in.

06:50 – can’t ignore L’s protests any longer so we get out of bed. No breakfast in bed for me and no card waiting to be opened. Usual morning routine of Little Baby Bum and finding a small window of time to eat my breakfast. Make L’s breakfast.

07:30 – still getting L to eat breakfast.

07:45 – give up after 2 bowls of porridge and a slice of toast thrown at me.

Blur of time, nappy changes, boob and random crying until 09:30 – find some time to scroll Facebook while L is occupied. Cute statuses from people wishing their mums a good day. Some poignant statuses from those who have lost their mums or children. But mainly lots of statuses showing how thoughtful partners have been in helping their children spoil their mums. Lie ins, breakfast in bed, presents bought with pocket money…and the mums with children too young for the concept seem equally spoilt.

10:00 – my own mum arrives with a lovely card ‘from’ L and some Mummy branded goodies. I love her and the gesture but I feel guilty that she’s made more of an effort than I have for her! It may be my first Mother’s Day, but she’s my mum too! But guilt is an everyday occurrence anyway, so I try and move on.

11:30 – we finish a weekly food shop together (no other time to manage the shop with L in tow) and he kicks off halfway around the store, so I take him to the car. He feeds and then throws up all over my seats, door and my clothes. Spend 20 minutes shivering from stripping off layers and mopping my child and car.

12:30 – we go for lunch at a local club and are thrilled with the scenery from the restaurant. Lots of families in the room; we are the only women dining without extended family around. There are flower presentations galore. L refuses his food and is grumpy, so we take it in turns to eat. No chance of either of us having a relaxing meal as there is no-one else to give the mum and grandmother a break. Eventually L falls asleep in his pram and we can eat our dessert in unison.

13:30 – I break my Slimming World allowance to eat a cake and immediately feel guilty. My mum chastises me and reminds me that it’s Mother’s Day, I deserve a treat. Says who?!

14:00 – we treat ourselves to an hour in the garden while L has a nap. It is amazing! Sun on our faces, peace and quiet. But we both keep shuffling around and reminding eachother of all the errands we should be getting on with. I get emotional thinking about this time last year, when we also sat in the garden and I worried about whether to get in contact with L’s dad or not. If only I knew what would unfold as a preemie mum.

15:00 – guilt takes over and we sort out L’s newborn stuff to go in the attic.

16:00 – I build L a new highchair to use at my mums house.

16:30 – highlight of the day; L manages to move himself off his mat and change direction. Countdown to crawling! We both coo over him and I couldn’t be prouder.

17:00 – unsuccessfully take it in turns to try and feed L dinner.

18:00 – somehow I manage to eat some food in between playing games with toast to try and coax L into eating. I decide my mum deserves a break so prepare to leave.

18:10 – L does a poo as soon as we step out of the house. Back in!

18:30 – Another attempt to feed L some fruit. He just wants the spoon. I have loads of things to put away, dishwasher and washing machine to unload but I’m drained. I sit and play with L on the mat.

19:10 – L has gone to bed and it’s still light outside!! Thank you daylight saving!! Finally I might actually have an evening!

19:15 – but as usual, I’m exhausted. It’s too much effort to even take my make up off so I retire to bed. I’ll be shocked if I manage to stay awake past 9pm.

But I’ll be even more shocked if you’ve read to the end of this post! I’m well aware this is an incredibly mundane post. A boring chronological account of the daily grind – except today should be a little different, it’s Mother’s Day. I am acutely aware that I am so incredibly lucky to have spent the day with my mum and baby. I really have had a lovely time with them. I’m also aware that Mother’s Day is just a gimmick.

But maybe one day, I will get spoilt on Mother’s Day. The breakfast in bed, the flowers. The energy to spoil my mum too.

Maybe one day.

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